This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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