based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Randomize
