ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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