You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
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I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
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I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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