When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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