Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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