The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
