So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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