His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
