This girl is more easily done than said...
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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