I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
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I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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