gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize