Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
