It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Quick, to the slutcave!
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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