I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
