yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
