Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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