my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
