you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
