eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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