I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
They have beer where we have blood.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
