I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
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