my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
