You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
