apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
