You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
