If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize