okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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