ya dads aren't the best wingmen
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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