So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
barbara walters just said penis...
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize