I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Randomize
