honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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