Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
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