my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Let the clothes fall where they may.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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