Define "chronic" masturbator.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
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