office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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