Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
