shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Let's paint friendship bongs
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
