The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i think my tv is drunk
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
