Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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