i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
