GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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