I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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