he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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