my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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