Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
