singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
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I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
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I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
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