I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
just tell him i said nine months
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Randomize
