Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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