never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
