So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Randomize
