I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
