she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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