: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
