the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
It's never too late to be topless.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
